You Probably Already Know the Answer

One of the things I've noticed throughout my years as a coach is that the people who struggle the most with personal decisions are often the very people others look to for advice. 

They're intelligent, accomplished, thoughtful. They lead teams, run businesses, solve complex problems, and navigate challenges with confidence every day. Yet when the decision becomes deeply personal, something sometimes shifts.

The same individual who can easily help someone else break down complex issues suddenly begins overthinking when it comes to their own situation. They replay every possible outcome, weigh all of their options and they might even seek another opinion. They wait for complete certainty before taking the next step.

On the surface, it looks like indecision. I don't think that's what it is. I think it's something much deeper.I think, over time, many of us begin to lose trust in our own inner wisdom.

Not because we aren't capable of making good decisions, but because we've gradually learned to place more value on external validation than on our own inner compass. We start believing that someone else must have the answer we're looking for. So we continue gathering information, asking for advice, and searching for reassurance, while the quiet voice within us becomes harder to hear.

I understand that feeling. I have been there a time or two in my own life where I found myself asking a question I had never considered before:

Can I trust myself to make different choices?

It’s an honest question, not born out of weakness but from vulnerability. From a willingness to pull back a layer or two. It came from recognizing that while I had confidence in making decisions in my career and for the people I led, there were moments when some decisions that affected my own life carried a different weight. I realized I had been searching for certainty when what I really needed was to strengthen my trust in myself.

I've come to believe that self-trust isn't something we either have or we don't. It's something we build. We build it every time we honor our values instead of our fears. Every time we listen to what we know to be true instead of what everyone else expects. Every time we keep a promise we've made to ourselves.

Those moments may seem small, but over time they become evidence. They remind us that our inner compass is still there. It doesn't disappear; it simply gets buried beneath expectations, responsibilities, and the opinions of others.

One of the greatest misconceptions is that trusting yourself means you'll always make the right decision.

It doesn't.

Trusting yourself means believing that even if things don't unfold exactly as you hoped, you'll have the wisdom, resilience, and courage to navigate whatever comes next.

That's where confidence is born. Not from certainty, but from self-trust.

A Question to Carry With You This Week

Is there a decision you've been postponing because you're waiting to feel completely certain?

What if certainty isn't what's missing?

What if you've simply forgotten to trust the wisdom that's already within you?

This week, choose one small decision you've been delaying and ask yourself, "If I trusted my own judgment just a little more, what would I do next?" Then take that step.

If this message resonated with you, I invite you to visit gettingbacktoyoubook.com to learn more about my upcoming book, Getting Back to You: A Woman's Guide to Reclaiming Clarity, Alignment, and Self-Trust. The book explores these ideas more deeply and shares the journey that ultimately led me back to my own voice, values, and self-trust. I hope it encourages you to reconnect with yours.

Adapted from Chapter 9, "Learning to Trust Yourself Again," from my forthcoming book, Getting Back to You.

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